The Grey Wall

Here we go again…a non-contact period, a blank white ‘page’ on the Microsoft Office screen and chilly, slanting rain sliding down my office window smearing my view of a soiled grey concrete wall…not much there for inspiration. And suddenly my doorway darkens with the figure of a student.

I have now been interrupted, willingly, by four different groups of students who were variously asking for information, telling me information or just coming in to say hello. Sorry, make that five as two 5th grade girls just came by, stopped to say hello, tell me about the assembly they were practising a poem recital for (they are nervous but are really doing it for their friend’s sake as she likes performing and they do not want to let her down) and ask me if I liked my job. So this topic is now what I want to write about.

ICS has always had a culture of communication between the adults and the children. As long as I can remember and that is nearly as long as Mr. Mills or Mr. Greaves can, children have felt comfortable coming up to us to chat about whatever they are enjoying or what ever is troubling them, spontaneously, openly. This is a pedagogical characteristic that is precious and cannot easily be bought, taught or acquired by attending a seminar. It would seem that the kids pass it on by doing it and therefore modelling it in front of new students or members of a group; that new teachers quickly realise it is a wonderful, essential part of the ICS style and absorb it..

As a result it is relatively rare compared to other schools in our collective experience, that a major event, a hurricane of a bad decision if I may use an unfortunately topical meteorological metaphor, strikes our ‘island’ without some advance warning. The warning is almost always accurate. The spirit of the warning is almost always the need to protect a friend from her/himself as a temptation or action or dialogue is on the brink of being enacted which would cause unfortunate reputational damage to its enactor.

No, I am not talking about kids telling tales or sneaking. This confidence sharing is altogether something far more sophisticated and valuable. I am talking about a child supporting a friend during difficult times of ‘teenagerhood’, of offering help and advice (forcefully if necessary) out of community concern, of risking damaging their relationship in the interest of helping their friend. This is altruism. And as a result a huge amount of my dean’s time is spent just listening, and then asking what it is a student wants me to do (maybe it is just to listen as good listeners seem to be a dying breed), asking what she/he had done so far, constructing an action plan, and dropping hints in the appropriate ear. What might I be doing during dean’s time in different educational culture? Well, I would be lecturing, ticking off, assigning punishment (or sanction or consequences or mandating a conversation - whichever is the current PC phrase). I would be seeing aggressive and uncooperative and sad teenagers, maybe the same old faces of repeat offenders and not really achieving much in the way of amelioration.

To end on a personal and parental note, I was so pleased that my teenage son found someone in his very strict Swiss secondary school to whom he could open up, as there are always going to be heaps of things that teens just do not want to discuss with us, their parents, right now. And be assure that ICS is full of such adults.